Twat (@janke92) — non-bio
28-11-2022 17:40
i just wanna be happy #sad flip flops and a trackie, feeling like i’m your dad
28-11-2022 17:40
police are just cunts aren’t they
28-11-2022 16:54
i’m not a dog
28-11-2022 16:01
@Philip_Ryan good stuff!!
25-11-2022 13:38
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RT @cravedcuddle:
25-11-2022 13:35
funny how people in uk are like genuinely scared of the rain, like shit thought you’d be used to it by now cunts
24-11-2022 17:47
RT @isaac_kh: Yeah sex is alright but have you ever tried the sheer thrill of getting into a companies house black hole and managing to pie…
24-11-2022 14:39
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RT @shirtsthtgohard:
24-11-2022 14:38
RT @DiscogsBest:
24-11-2022 14:37
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RT @shirtsthtgohard:
24-11-2022 14:36
@elonmusk i trust it less now tbh
23-11-2022 19:26
please refer to me only as it or that, thanks.
23-11-2022 19:26
@elonmusk can’t wait for humans to die out
22-11-2022 23:18
@elonmusk elon is 100% ego
16-11-2022 00:23
i miss my wife, i miss my kids
15-11-2022 20:44
@nice1matt how much for just the killing?
15-11-2022 05:59
i’m a lamp advocate
15-11-2022 02:59
@Scott808__ that’s a good fact
15-11-2022 02:57
lucy keeps trying to bring the cone back in fashion, it’s actually embarrassing and doesn’t look good at all but i…
14-11-2022 23:27
@ihateloveandart don’t just look at it, eat it!
14-11-2022 23:20
whilst crying and eating a twix
14-11-2022 23:19
feel like my life is gonna be me romanticising orange lights on lampposts and saying how they made everything look so beautiful
14-11-2022 23:18
the universe is proper big innit like in a weird way
14-11-2022 23:12
@nice1matt true story??
04-11-2022 13:40
less police please
04-11-2022 13:39
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RT @giantpoppywatch: We interrupt the Poppy Watching for this MOVING #remembrance of Captain Tom.
04-11-2022 13:39
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RT @strangepacks_:
04-11-2022 13:38
elon musk is a cunt a really big cunt i bet he smells like a cunt too, can’t wait for the revolution
04-11-2022 13:38
@Scott808__ damn you got me
30-10-2022 01:21
i always feel bad about hating the tv show friends but then when i watch it i genuinely can’t believe how shit it is
29-10-2022 14:40
i’m not sure washing machines are on our side here
28-10-2022 22:09
‘Mr Cleverly insisted Ms Braverman had shown integrity by apologising for breaking the rules.’ does that mean anyon…
26-10-2022 13:58
@nice1matt hahahahhaha matt
26-10-2022 10:35
goin pakistan next year for a wedding, trying to learn urdu
24-10-2022 16:14
i came to kill the goat, halal, slit the throat
24-10-2022 16:13
i’m so sexy
24-10-2022 16:11
yummy magic mushrooms
24-10-2022 16:04
if boris becomes pm again the guillotines coming out
21-10-2022 16:43
if liz truss gets 100k a year for being pm then the guillotines coming out
21-10-2022 16:42
if you can read words you’re a loser
18-10-2022 23:18
As part of the ‘Let kids say fuck’ movement we believe kids should be allowed to swear as the punishment for sweari…
16-10-2022 20:33
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RT @BabyBoomerCore:
16-10-2022 15:36
nice to see he’s been going for years now doing almost exactly the same thing
16-10-2022 15:35
ban dogs
13-10-2022 20:30
sorry i’m not sure if i’m sorry
13-10-2022 20:21
@Anarqxista no
12-10-2022 20:20
everything i say is a lie
12-10-2022 20:13
animals actually think it’s hilarious when we don’t eat them, they want to be eaten.
27-09-2022 13:40
should i be booting grey squirrels when i see them?
26-09-2022 18:27
queens doing my head in
19-09-2022 10:54
@Scott808__ my sisters go to ab dab and they said no one says that anymore!!
19-09-2022 08:01
probably the worst thing teachers at school said was to not trust wikipedia, luddites.
19-09-2022 08:00
fuck me you haven’t half fucked about with lizs body
16-09-2022 18:01
oh yeah if you have adhd don’t, that’s what my work says anyways
15-09-2022 17:36
my dog eats dog shit, great for walks
13-09-2022 23:41
it’s sad that anyone dies it’s not more sad because it’s the queen
13-09-2022 19:56
putting things in perspective really puts it into perspective
13-09-2022 19:35
not saying fuck the queen i’m saying let’s treat nans fairly
09-09-2022 22:34
no one did this shit for my nan and she was the best nan ever
09-09-2022 22:33
@JeremyClarkson oh right thanks car man vroom vroom this car goes faster
09-09-2022 19:53
imagine giving a shit about the royal family i don’t understand
09-09-2022 19:32
i’m dying to find out the meaning to life
08-09-2022 02:37
truss or rishi is like choosing between getting stabbed or shot
05-09-2022 12:44
03-09-2022 15:38
@trishakloster @Humanforscale_ looks perfect to clean your ass
02-09-2022 20:35
bless him, they’ve been trying their hardest. im sure we’ll get there soon.
02-09-2022 20:33
anyone else hate calling the gp? takes ages, the song never changes and it keeps telling me to call after 11am when…
02-09-2022 20:32
nearly got eaten last night
02-09-2022 12:24
dogs CAN look up?
31-08-2022 20:47
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RT @brian_goldstone: a Black Mirror episode in which your ability to secure housing, one of the most basic of human needs, is contingent on…
23-08-2022 12:53
@nice1matt OW bist jockey lad, just havin a pint at 9am in spoons on my own like usual. i cant wait to nuke like we…
22-08-2022 23:05
@nice1matt for cuban missile criss day come down and get your nuclear arsenal at tesco
22-08-2022 20:49
yea he scored a goal but did he reach his life goals
22-08-2022 19:24
i noticed you struggle with your jars so ive opened them all for you to use when you're ready
21-08-2022 15:56
@CHazelgrove who dat
17-08-2022 22:52
17-08-2022 15:09
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RT @internetslagg: Big Unk is in the buildin’
16-08-2022 22:00
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RT @LibrarySheet: Legendary jazz pianist Bill Evan's birthday is today 16th August. Bill would've been 93 years old: an amazing legacy, a b…
16-08-2022 21:54
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RT @soopagaz:
16-08-2022 21:54
15-08-2022 21:17
we need free uni
15-08-2022 20:51
@sadfishrl @verycentrist @jeremycorbyn ever heard of a natural monopoly? we already subsidise these public services…
15-08-2022 18:50
@M0nkeyman17 @jeremycorbyn what question was that mr monkey
15-08-2022 18:47
@LordCLQTR @jeremycorbyn
15-08-2022 18:46
@LordCLQTR @jeremycorbyn the town centre in my town is owned by a pension company in the usa, siphoning money out o…
15-08-2022 18:45
@Golf17109431 @jrc1921 @jeremycorbyn thats the point
15-08-2022 18:43
15-08-2022 17:25
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RT @c0mmunicants: I'm a strict prison abolitionist unless I think it would be funny if a specific person got sent to prison.
15-08-2022 01:57
tell me the author is french without telling me the author is french
15-08-2022 01:51
why do books have so many fucking words in them
15-08-2022 01:40
RT @artist_miro: Woman Encircled by the Flight of a Bird, 1941 #miro #surrealism
14-08-2022 23:56
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RT @We_OwnIt: Nationalise Bulb 💡 (instead of the taxpayer paying Octopus £1 billion to buy it) Now is the perfect time to set up a state o…
12-08-2022 22:22
i knew that already bro wheres my seat
12-08-2022 22:05
Birmingham new Street is a bit shit
12-08-2022 21:53
RT @SzMarsupial: any time i watch actual tv rather than streaming i get a very strong feeling that advertising should simply be illegal
12-08-2022 21:40
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RT @WetMayor: the most sensual thing a man can do is google shit like "napoleon's exile" when his battery is at 2%
12-08-2022 21:39
@lukeakehurst @RayaBella89 "we are the lesser of two evils in our shitty first past the post system"
12-08-2022 21:36
@lukeakehurst @richwould who the fuck is the hard left
12-08-2022 21:34
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RT @365posterblog1:
12-08-2022 21:16
@DanielJHannan why do you want people to suffer?
12-08-2022 21:11
is it possible to boil in your own sweat? i think the train to Sheffield is cooking me alive?
12-08-2022 21:10
@lukeakehurst because its watered down shite, nationalise the energy company's and tax the rich it aint hard
12-08-2022 19:05
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RT @Wahlid:
12-08-2022 19:03
@amy_may is dogging popular in Orkney or something
12-08-2022 14:44
@jrc1921 kier is shit jake
12-08-2022 12:26
imagine watching Eurovision and not blowing your brains out
12-08-2022 11:05
@adampayne26 renationalise labour
12-08-2022 01:47
@CorpseFreedom @KingshukB1 @DanielJHannan its funny how all you billionaire brainwashed right wing blokes are exact…
12-08-2022 01:02
@JosieLong just a bit of bloody carbon Tamara
12-08-2022 00:19
@heavenbrat why not both
12-08-2022 00:15
@kristnmerrilees you'll miss them when the tiktok tap runs dry
12-08-2022 00:12
@CorpseFreedom @KingshukB1 @DanielJHannan the damage petrol and cars cause people and society needs to be paid for…
12-08-2022 00:10
@DanielJHannan you're definitely paid to say that because it makes no sense whatsoever
12-08-2022 00:07
@still_oppressed looks like his belly is giving a speech
12-08-2022 00:00
@bcks109 @jrc1921 @RedsssSeaside @UKLabour sir 🤮
11-08-2022 23:16
@DaftLimmy adaptation, nick cage
11-08-2022 23:13
@tcanham459 @LeftieStats right wing is actually synonymous with fiscal incompetence
11-08-2022 12:48
the Atlantic ocean looks boring as fuck who thought that was a good idea
10-08-2022 20:45
@smugglertr @cheedz05 well indeed but itd exist anyway regardless of legality with the consequences potentially bei…
10-08-2022 20:32
no lights on but at least we have bread and meat in the coming apocalypse
10-08-2022 00:44
@AdamBienkov go on rishi have a spliff you boring bastard
10-08-2022 00:38
@RCLabour i thought crime was good
09-08-2022 22:50
silly boy
08-08-2022 20:06
@PickardJE i have thoughts too
31-07-2022 21:27
@DannyVet @BrineMP but the tories are scum?
29-07-2022 14:42
@jrc1921 christ thats weird
29-07-2022 14:37
@nice1matt wish could pause work to play game
26-07-2022 23:44
@Scott808__ no problem scott
26-07-2022 17:30
@Scott808__ 24
26-07-2022 13:42
people walk dogs like it aint weird
20-07-2022 19:14
farting in the woods
19-07-2022 23:04
its official, im a cunt
19-07-2022 18:48
@johnharris1969 lib dems r shitter then labour
19-07-2022 15:00
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RT @imnotpeeing: Who up pushing they boulder
19-07-2022 14:58
@NoContextBrits tip top
18-07-2022 05:20
@Scott808__ @tinfoilfronts Cant Ufos Nuke Time
14-07-2022 01:46
@Scott808__ @tinfoilfronts Cups Understand New Things
13-07-2022 21:52
@Scott808__ @tinfoilfronts Cutting Umbrellas Now Turtles
13-07-2022 21:35
@Scott808__ @tinfoilfronts Cant Umpire Never Tried
13-07-2022 19:34
@tinfoilfronts cunt is good
13-07-2022 17:08
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RT @theeroamer: nasa’s first images from the james webb telescope are truly beautiful and meaningful
13-07-2022 02:50
thats my bit of lager
13-07-2022 02:24
@nice1matt i love you
02-07-2022 21:11
should read plaques more often
30-06-2022 15:25
@nice1matt disposable plates for a funeral
29-06-2022 00:07
tip: don’t drink a litre of apple juice then cycle immediately after
27-06-2022 21:00
@amygalland making individuals guilty when the problem is corporation and governments aint gonna solve this
27-06-2022 14:17
@IAmSteveHarvey couldn’t be bothered with training to be a doctor (10+ years?) I just turned up and bought everyone…
27-06-2022 14:14
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RT @MCabournSmith: If you can’t handle me at my worst, that’s absolutely fair enough it’s a bit much.
27-06-2022 13:51
why did i book a week off work? everyone else is in work?
27-06-2022 13:49
nice gravestone i saw, kid was only 8 yrs old. rip charles.
27-06-2022 13:14
more strikes please
24-06-2022 21:31
hedgehogs dilemma makes everything make sense
17-06-2022 22:47
big brain
12-06-2022 21:13
pub landlords are drug dealers..?
12-06-2022 20:08
currently watching stalker, should’ve watched it ages ago!
12-06-2022 18:44
@Scott808__ all of them?
05-06-2022 22:40
@Scott808__ what about them?
05-06-2022 22:21
a day always starts well when your mum calls you a cunt
31-05-2022 14:05
i love life it’s fantastic wow
31-05-2022 01:54
@otter_weekend bcuz we exist
24-05-2022 15:19
@nice1matt damn right that’s correct
19-05-2022 23:43
elon smell
19-05-2022 19:45
@jordanbpeterson incredibly reductive.
17-05-2022 20:44
are there any meet-ups in telford for riding shit bicycles really dangerously or maybe there could be a freestyle…
05-05-2022 23:52
RT @jrc1921:
01-05-2022 22:14
@jrc1921 yeah same i remember having like 30 different teachers for english and maths. lucky to have passed them both tbh.
01-05-2022 22:12
@johnharris1969 fuckin hell it’s like they’re proud that they continue to criminalise people who are suffering, wit…
29-04-2022 00:53
@kylehalldetroit lol yeah the technique of djing is vastly less important than sound selection who gives a fuck if…
25-04-2022 18:50
how many dickheads am i?
25-04-2022 02:06
@IrvineWelsh i left last september after being there for 7 years. if it wasn’t a harbinger of memories i would be back in a heartbeat.
24-04-2022 16:49
@nice1matt i’ll get the snail if you get the slug. Lets see if the people were right.
20-04-2022 16:44
@nice1matt thanks matt, it’s easy for you as a 💯
17-04-2022 23:26
@PrisonPlanet because capitalism and the breaking down of all our public institutions. Progressive stuff is all we…
16-04-2022 19:00
is France definitely real?
16-04-2022 18:57
16-04-2022 18:44
id like to congratulate drugs for winning the war on drugs
16-04-2022 17:47
@Rainingames i hope it get’s ported to pc i want to play it so bad!
16-04-2022 17:01 i dont think boris knows what humility is
12-04-2022 22:22
@HKesvani Big question for small brains
11-04-2022 20:20
nothing is more scarier or concerning than a man who loves elon musk
05-04-2022 20:01
@ScotTories i dont think my neighbours want to see my hard border
05-04-2022 02:45
@Scott808__ youre just one big meaty bit of aggregate, like the rest of us!
02-04-2022 22:36
@Scott808__ Whenever i see the word aggregate i think of you
02-04-2022 22:19
@NoContextBrits fullacunts
31-03-2022 19:10
29-03-2022 23:45
@Scott808__ lemon lilt
29-03-2022 23:42
@johnharris1969 Their heads are either so far up their arses that they have lost all touch with human emotion or th…
29-03-2022 23:39
@Timcast the gag i make when i smell dog shit would go well with this
29-03-2022 23:35
why is there a mothers day? they already have birthdays the greedy bastards
29-03-2022 20:04
spilled a whole chocomilk all over my desk at the start of a meeting on the first day of my new job. Looked like a giant scab.
28-03-2022 22:03
@theneedledrop Eddie Okwedy - happy survival
28-03-2022 21:53
@michaeljswalker i try to forget
28-03-2022 21:49
got home faster with this trick. Try pushing x for speed boost, a is to stop at a station.
20-03-2022 03:15
@Conservatives can u sort the trains out thatcher fucked em up. Also can you make it illegal to be a tory please? cheers, corbyn. x
20-03-2022 03:12
@Timcast ur a cunt
20-03-2022 03:10
@_mollymolmo Sounds incredible. Thanks for the tip Molly. I appreciate your valuable words. God bless.
06-03-2022 23:13
naughty putin
24-02-2022 20:58
immature cheddar
18-02-2022 17:24